How To Make Friends: My Post-Grad Thoughts On Relationships That Count

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I used to have 8234839234 million “friends.” And I put quotation marks around the word “friends” because I use that term so lightly.

College was a dream for me. While the school I went to wasn’t perfect, I was too enamored with it to notice it’s flaws while I was there, so I danced through those four years with a big fat smile on my face. Sure, I had plenty of tough times in college, namely some difficulty adjusting to the academic rigor of the school I went to and a couple of ugly relationships, but otherwise I was the girl who’d hijack the high school guests at your dinner party to convince them to think about applying to the place I loved so much.

And one of the things that made my college experience so spectacular were all the friends I had. Don’t get me wrong – that makes me sound really popular or something, and we all know that I’m a huge dork and a really big ball of anxiety who sometimes cares way too much about what other people think. Not really a picture of “cool.”

But in college, it was way easier to make friends and maintain them. That is, if you have the definition of friendship that I did.  Continue reading “How To Make Friends: My Post-Grad Thoughts On Relationships That Count”

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Vulnerability Scares Me To Death & Here’s Why I Choose It Anyway [+4 Free Lock Screens!]

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I was sitting across from an incredible human being over salads and coffee in a local lunch spot and I was scared to death.

It wasn’t this human’s fault. She was becoming a person  I trusted. You know those people you meet at random times in life who make you feel like God cut you from the same cloth? Like your souls share the same threaded design? This was how I felt with her, a person slowly becoming a friend as we decided to share small swatches of our hearts with one another, bit by bit, testing the waters to see if they felt safe.

And they had so far. But things were getting scary for me. Because I did feel safe, and that meant I had to wade a little deeper. I had to share a little more. If I wanted to take this acquaintance-becoming-friend to full-fledged-partnership, I knew I needed to make my way to the deep end, revealing more vulnerable realities I carried around inside clenched fists so nobody could see them.

I had to get real. Continue reading “Vulnerability Scares Me To Death & Here’s Why I Choose It Anyway [+4 Free Lock Screens!]”

Finding Wholeness: How Meaningful Connections Change Lives

 

 

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These are some lovely folks I feel so privileged to know.

A few months ago, a girl named Austen Dunn died suddenly from a brain aneurism. Austen was the kind of person everyone wants to know and wants to become. She was quietly and brilliantly talented, incredibly warm, and accepting of everyone who came into her path. She thought deeply and loved hard. Four weeks before she passed, I grabbed lunch with Austen and her best friend in a small coffee shop on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, where we talked about mental health and her aspirations to become a therapist. The world lost a wonderful human.

One of the things Austen was passionate about was the concept of communitas. You can watch a documentary she made on the idea here, and essentially the notion behind communitas is that shared experiences is how we build connections with others.

I’ve been thinking about communitas ever since Austen’s passing. I’ve been wondering what it means for me as I hold the people around me a little tighter in the wake of her death.What does connection mean? What does wholeness in our personal relationships and in ourselves look like? Continue reading “Finding Wholeness: How Meaningful Connections Change Lives”

I’m Trying To Be A Better Friend. Here’s How.

How I'm Becoming A Better Friend | #friendship #friends #how #to #howto #bestie #bestfriend #best #friend

There’s only one item on my bucket list I know I’ll never cross off.

Goal #12 on my long-term bucket list is to become a better friend, and I think there will always be room for growth. There will never be a day when I can say I am the best friend there ever was to all the people in my life, so I’ll always have more to strive for.

But lately I’ve been really going at this one. I have some really stellar people in my life and I think they deserve my very best effort.

Here’s what I’ve been doing to become a better friend: Continue reading “I’m Trying To Be A Better Friend. Here’s How.”

Why Singleness Is Better Than Dating [From Someone In A Relationship]

Why Singleness Is Better Than Dating [From Someone In A Relationship]

Let me start this off by saying that I love my boyfriend and dating him is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He makes me happier than anything, and he is my very best friend. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for the world.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m here to tell you why singleness is better than being in a relationship. (Lol, what? Hold your horses folks. It’ll make sense in a second. :)) Continue reading “Why Singleness Is Better Than Dating [From Someone In A Relationship]”

To The People Who Make My Life Meaningful

To The People Who Make My Life Meaningful | A word on what my best friends, family members, boyfriend, and other significant others have meant to me. Their love and loyalty is unreal.

Gosh, this post might make me cry.

In a prior post I mentioned the high impact social circles have on happiness and overall wellbeing. I can’t stress enough how important a quality social circle can be for full living. My classes on therapy always include a lesson or two on how necessary it is to gauge a client’s social network and level of social support during the first or second session, because this can be a critical strength or weakness in the road towards the achievement of personal goals and overall joy.

Continue reading “To The People Who Make My Life Meaningful”