Okay, Amanda, I thought to myself. This is like, what? Your third night in a row in bed?
The workday was over and I’d shut myself away with a laptop, some comfort snacks, and a serious determination to finish Insecure on HBO. And I had no intention of getting up. Ever.
Which would have been fine, except that I realized this was becoming a pattern of the week. That bothered me.
I really would have loved to cast away all worries and anxieties about the week to the wind and binge-watched sad documentaries (now you know never to ask me for comforting movie recommendations) until it was way past my bedtime. But I also knew that I’d be really unhappy with myself if I did.
Because while one part of me wanted to spend my third evening of the week this way, there was another part of me that didn’t want to.
This year was full of wild adventures. I spent a summer experiencing the best of NYC, traveled to Puerto Rico, made many bus trips and road trips along the East Coast, and just generally had a ball of a time exploring.
I have been lucky: I have almost always believed I could. My parents, teachers, and friends instilled in me a belief that I was smart enough, skilled enough, and good enough to do whatever it was I decided to do.
At the end of the day, we are all enough. We are worthy of healthy relationships, positive outcomes, and success.
But as a friend and a therapist, my interactions with people in my life and the clients I work with has revealed that not everyone believes this idea that they are strong, good, and capable. There are a number of reasons why this could be the case: rough parenting, societal messages about one’s personhood, traumatic experiences, or any number of other histories. Continue reading “How To Love Yourself: A Guide To Overcoming Low Self-Esteem”→
I grew up in the Protestant church, so I heard a lot of messages about marriage from an early age. Whether subliminal or direct, my family members, friends, and leaders taught me lots of things about what a healthy marriage should look like and how I should prepare myself to be in one.
I don’t really subscribe to most of the things I was taught about marriage anymore. There are many reasons for this and I won’t get into it all right now. But the main message I want to discuss today is the idea that I should be preparing myself for the person I would marry.
There’s only one item on my bucket list I know I’ll never cross off.
Goal #12 on my long-term bucket list is to become a better friend, and I think there will always be room for growth. There will never be a day when I can say I am the best friend there ever was to all the people in my life, so I’ll always have more to strive for.
One of the things I appreciate about Kemp (da boyfrand, as I’ve previously discussed) is that sometimes he is blatantly honest with me and says something I don’t want to hear, even though it’s exactly the thing I need to hear.
This happened a few weeks ago.
We were wandering through Washington, DC on one of the hottest, stickiest days of the summer in late July. Kemp lives in DC (but he moves to NYC next week!) and I am from the area, so the city is familiar to both of us. It was late afternoon and the sun was setting over the trees, and I was telling Kemp about my desire to start living even more intentionally than I already do. (This was one of the conversations that spurred me on in my aspirations to start this blog!) I told him I didn’t want my 20s to slip away before I took the time to fully live them. Continue reading “The Biggest Mistake I Was Making That Kept Me From Living Fully”→